Thursday, 22 August 2013

Facing the Truth

Have you seen that internet phenomenon - Grumpy Cat?   

I'm probably the human version of that.    I don't *deliberately* look that way.

I was at the supermarket the other day, looking at the vegetables.  Going through my usual "should I buy a couple in an attempt to look healthy, and then let them turn to mush in the fridge , or just give up the pretence" argument.   

Then suddenly, a man bellowed at me from across the vegetables, "Don't worry love, it might never happen!"

I tore my eyes away from the phallic zucchinis, and sidled away (to fondle the cucumbers).  But I admit, it was a surprise that someone even noticed that I existed, let alone what the look on my "resting face" seemed to show.

The nicest thing my ex-husband ever had to say about my looks was that I had an "open face".

Well, I guess that's closed now.   Rather than the now-public disease of Bitchy Resting Face, I think I have "disgruntled resting face."

And that makes me even more disgruntled.  Soon I'll have babies crying at ten paces, and sweet little old ladies setting speed-limits on their walking frames, as they hurry in the direction of away.

OK, so I've been extra-down for the past couple of weeks.   The cute guy at the Post Office has gone AWOL. For two weeks he was not there.   That probably explained the extra downward droop of the corners of my mouth.  A visit to the PO, was now no longer a lovely pervy adventure.

Perhaps I laughed a little too maniacally at his adorable jokes.   Perhaps I gazed too longingly upon his big chubby (ringless !) fingers as he typed on the tiny keyboard.   Perhaps when I said to him "have a nice day" as I left, he could read what my mind was actually thinking.  Eeep!

So this morning, I shuffled into the PO, everything drooping that could droop (a combination of gravity & misery)  --------     and there he was.   The drooping parts of me got perky, ( except for the gravity-based drooping - no hope there).

He served me!   Oh that smile, oh those eyes!   He made an adorable joke, I laughed maniacally (with a extra dash of desperation & relief).    I purchased extra things I didn't need, just to draw out the experience.    The PO profits from this too!

I floated to the supermarket with a dumb grin on my face.   Fondled zucchinis, cucumbers, and a couple of nice wrinkled passionfruit.     Purchased a packet of two-minute noodles and a bag of chips.   Chips are potatoes, right?  That's a vegetable.

Ha!  Bet I didn't have disgruntled face then.   Probably more "Warning  - looney person. Approach with caution."

Now I have a reason to make some attempt at trying to look vaguely human, and not like something that has just crawled out from a ditch.

(But I can't perform miracles - YET).

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