February update

Oh, I couldn't think of a witty title.  So there it is.  If I wait any longer February will be gone before I can blink.

My store is currently sitting at 150 listings.  A week ago it was at 1,050.  Now all those listings from the last 10,000 free listings offer have rolled off and I'm waiting impatiently for some more free ones, so I can relist everything.

Yes, it's got to that stage.

This morning, I got an invite on my eBay Dashboard, and saw "10,000 Free Listings".  In a rare moment of actual joy, I actually pumped my fist and shouted "Yes!"  - causing one of my parrots to fall off their perch in fright.  But then I read it more carefully and saw it was only for items over $100.    WTF?   I've had about 5 items over $100 in my 15 years on eBay.     

Thanks for nothing !!!!   I may have to bite the bullet and actually fork out for some listing fees.   Nooooooooooooooo.

I wish I had lovely interesting shiny things for sale like other blogs I read.  Here are my best sales so far in February.  Prepare to be underwhelmed !   Board games have been my highest price sellers as usual.

"Nova Ace of Aces WWI Air Combat Game - Balloon Buster 014 - VGC - 100% - 1985"

Bought for ???? - Sold for $19.99

I found this on my bookshelf.  I bought it at an Op shop a couple of years ago, and kept it myself as I have an interest in aeroplanes.  It sat unused.  I don't know who I thought I was going to play this with - myself?

There were no previous sales on this exact one that I could compare, but after research a website said this was the most common one.  So I just put this price on it.   It sold one hour later.  I guess I should have sold it for more.  Oh well.

"Monopoly Australian Edition Board Game - 100% Complete - 12 x Metal Tokens - VGC"

Bought for 50 cents - sold for $27.99

Vintage or special edition Monopoly games always sell quickly for me.

"Cluedo Board Game - Vintage 1983 - 100% Complete - Contents VGC - Waddingtons"

Bought for $2 - sold for $17.99

Cluedo is also a quick selling board game for me.

"The Great Australian Road Trip Trivia Board Game - Reader's Digest - Unplayed"

Bought for $3 - sold for $27.99

"Holden VU Ute : A New Legend - PAL VHS Video - Hosted by Peter Brock - 2001 RARE"

Bought for 50 cents - sold for $15.99

This is just a short promo video from Holden to sell some shiny new car.  Cars = high interest.  Also hosted by Peter Brock, a famous Australian race car driver, who died in a race car crash a few years ago.   So this hits a few interest buttons.   I had no other sales to compare this to when I priced it, so I just put this price on it, and waited.  Took a few months, but finally sold just before I was going to reduce the price.

I'll go back to job searching (there'll be a separate blog on that farce), and sitting here like a gargoyle glaring at my "Promotional Offers" box on my eBay dashboard.

Lost listings

I find myself at a loose end today.  It's Monday, and the Australia Day public holiday, so post office is shut, and no Paypal transfers go into my account.

A week ago, as the latest 2,000 free listings bout was coming to an end, I was ending my listings that were finishing soon, and relisting them as "sell similar".     I would do this 50 listings at a time, and then delete them from the Unsold area.  

Just before Christmas I managed to get my number of listings to over 1,000 items.  It was an achievement that I was proud of, but did little to affect my sales.

Anyhow, once I'd done all my end listing / sell similar / delete ended items spate, I realised that my numbers were off.  I had somehow deleted 50 ended listing without doing the "sell similar" first.     I had no idea what these listings were.   *scream*

So, today it's hot, and I'm unmotivated to list anything, so I'm going through all my stock (all 1,000 of them!), and seeing which ones are not listed.   It's good to do this every now and then, as it's amazing how much stock you think is listed, but is nowhere to be seen in your store.   I've also picked up a few duplicate listings, and incorrect titles.

The OCD in me enjoys the process, and I get a feeling of satisfaction.  So far I've checked all my board games and all the kids videos, and already found 20 items that weren't listed.  Woohoo!  Only 820 more items to go.....

Then to start online, for 5 jobs to apply for this week.  Happy times.



Enough seriousness!

A couple of years ago my sister innocently sent me a link to a website that had scans of old crochet/knitting books.    This picture was on the main page at the time.    

Feast your eyes on the cover of this one - let them roam around.  Does anything catch your attention?   I can tell you what caught mine.

My sister is the knitter in our family, so I requested the yellow penis for Christmas (nawww, he has eyes & a nose!), but she has yet to produce one for me.   

 This Christmas Day just a month ago,the family sat around after opening our presents.   I looked my sister in the eye and said "where's my penis?" (for the second Christmas in a row).  She made excuses, but I brushed them aside.    I probably won't see it until I'm ancient, and no need for what I might store in it.    ;-)        (Just kidding, I'll never be too old).

In the meantime I thought I'd share some photos from this cute board game I need to list:


Aren't these rubber sumo's just adorable?   Just look at those magnificent bums.  And who else wants to do a mouth fart on their superb tummies?  I know I do.

But then there's the back cover, where these two have more than a hint of lunacy to their smiles.   

Happy Monday !!

I'm back ...

Hello, remember me?  I'm sneaking back in sideways, wondering if anybody noticed that I was gone.

I apologise for my lack of posts in the past 5 months!  

Happy New Year to you all.



I've finally managed to crawl out of the black hole that I had dug for myself.  I've also been like a fish on a feeding frenzy with all those 1,000s of free listings that have been thrown our way.   They don't seem to have made much difference to my sales, but at least they had me dragging my sorry butt off the couch and getting some listings done.

Today (Sunday) is Australia Day, and tomorrow is the public holiday.   It's going to be hot today, and tomorrow (39 degrees).   I will be hiding inside with the curtains shut, spending the two days alone.  I'm hoping to put some stuff up for sale on Facebook today, so if I get any visitors it will be buyers from there.  *fingers crossed*.

I've taken a good hard look at myself over the past few months, and I don't like what I see.  I'm not just talking about avoiding mirrors (which I've done all my life), but the birds-eye view of myself from above.  All I can see is a great yawning empty space around me, and inside me, and also the gaping empty space in my bank account.    :-0

I figured that I could fix the bank account, by getting a job, as eBay just wasn't covering my cost of living.   I figured that this would also fill some of the space around me, and maybe just a little bit inside of me.   Doing this eBay job suits me, because I am an introvert, and people tend to over-whelm me.   But also, I found that it was making me more reclusive.

Applying for a job meant job interviews.  Nothing is more likely to turn me into a stammering, jibbering, red-faced fool, shaking so hard that I have to hide my hands from the interviewers.   How can I sell myself to somebody else, when I didn't even believe in myself?

So I put off looking for a job, because of the fear of those "job interviews."  

Then it hit me, that I wasn't going to find any self-confidence by hiding away in my house.  It was only going to come, with me having a job, and connecting with people;  feeling that if I dropped off the face of the Earth, somebody might even miss me.

Then I found out that I may be eligible for something called "New Start", which is a fancy name for going on the dole.    I shuffled into my local Centrelink office, guilty & embarrassed, and found that I make so little money, that I am eligible for a partial Job Seeker payment.  

I've had a 13 week wait before it kicks in , but it gave me something positive to look forward to.

This week is my first week on it.    As part of this I have to apply for 5 jobs a week.     So this has FORCED me to track down a couple of people I used to work with to be my referees, and to get my resume in order.  

Even though I am shit-shared at the thought of interviews, I just have to suck it up, and stop making excuses.     There are people far worse off than me, who have got through far harder times.  Enough with the self-pity and playing a victim to my own insecurities!

And, yes, doing it all on my little lonesome is hard too - but I've got my imaginary friends to help me.  ;-)


And now off to read all the blogs I subscribe to, and catch up on what all my Blog friends are up to.

Facing the Truth

Have you seen that internet phenomenon - Grumpy Cat?   

I'm probably the human version of that.    I don't *deliberately* look that way.

I was at the supermarket the other day, looking at the vegetables.  Going through my usual "should I buy a couple in an attempt to look healthy, and then let them turn to mush in the fridge , or just give up the pretence" argument.   

Then suddenly, a man bellowed at me from across the vegetables, "Don't worry love, it might never happen!"

I tore my eyes away from the phallic zucchinis, and sidled away (to fondle the cucumbers).  But I admit, it was a surprise that someone even noticed that I existed, let alone what the look on my "resting face" seemed to show.

The nicest thing my ex-husband ever had to say about my looks was that I had an "open face".

Well, I guess that's closed now.   Rather than the now-public disease of Bitchy Resting Face, I think I have "disgruntled resting face."

And that makes me even more disgruntled.  Soon I'll have babies crying at ten paces, and sweet little old ladies setting speed-limits on their walking frames, as they hurry in the direction of away.


OK, so I've been extra-down for the past couple of weeks.   The cute guy at the Post Office has gone AWOL. For two weeks he was not there.   That probably explained the extra downward droop of the corners of my mouth.  A visit to the PO, was now no longer a lovely pervy adventure.

Perhaps I laughed a little too maniacally at his adorable jokes.   Perhaps I gazed too longingly upon his big chubby (ringless !) fingers as he typed on the tiny keyboard.   Perhaps when I said to him "have a nice day" as I left, he could read what my mind was actually thinking.  Eeep!

So this morning, I shuffled into the PO, everything drooping that could droop (a combination of gravity & misery)  --------     and there he was.   The drooping parts of me got perky, ( except for the gravity-based drooping - no hope there).

He served me!   Oh that smile, oh those eyes!   He made an adorable joke, I laughed maniacally (with a extra dash of desperation & relief).    I purchased extra things I didn't need, just to draw out the experience.    The PO profits from this too!

I floated to the supermarket with a dumb grin on my face.   Fondled zucchinis, cucumbers, and a couple of nice wrinkled passionfruit.     Purchased a packet of two-minute noodles and a bag of chips.   Chips are potatoes, right?  That's a vegetable.

Ha!  Bet I didn't have disgruntled face then.   Probably more "Warning  - looney person. Approach with caution."

Now I have a reason to make some attempt at trying to look vaguely human, and not like something that has just crawled out from a ditch.

(But I can't perform miracles - YET).

Taking the Bait

I admit, after the third offer of 5,000 free listings from eBay, it is making me list like a mad thing.

My store is at 935 items, and I hope to get to 1,000 - but with only 3 days to go until the offer ends, I'm not sure that I'll get there.    But hey! It's working great at getting me to go through my towering piles of videos and books that I have been ignoring.

These free listings combined with being able to make my store a Basic Store has lowered my costs so that I am actually keeping up with my eBay fees.     Hurrah!    Having said that, having over 900 items in my store has not increased my sales.   I don't go with the "list more, and the sales increase" theory.  That has never worked for me.   You don't have to list more, you just have to list what people want, and that is the secret to it.



Last week, I accidentally left my garage door open.   Now, I can sit in my car outside my garage door, madly pressing the button on my remote (on the keyring).  It might take 4-5 presses for the darn thing to  open.

But once I'm inside the house, one extra-soft accidental press on that button has the garage door opening wide without any extra voodoo or swearing on my part.

I came out the next morning, through the door at the back of the garage and saw the roller-door was open.   Snort.  Silly me.  Then I loaded some things in the boot of my car, and went to get in.   My driver side door was ajar.  I looked inside and my glove box was open, with items sitting on my seat.

My heart dropped, as I realised that someone had gone through my car.     Happily, there is nothing in my car worth taking.   I have an old GPS device (with maps 4 years out of date), but I had it sitting in the built-in drink holder.  They didn't find it, and there was nothing else worth them taking.

They even left the whole 20 cent piece in the coin container.  How kind.

I hoped that they were pooping their pants scrounging around in my car in the dark.  Ha ha!   All that effort for nothing.    What an embarrassment for me to have nothing worth stealing!

Then that night, as I sat in my PJs making friends with a bottle of wine, I remembered that I'd had a huge roll of bubble-wrap in the boot of the car.    Ack!   Panic stations!   I shuffled out to the garage, and opened my car.   Whew, still there.  

Oh lovely bubble-wrap!   You mean so much to me, I would have hunted them to the ends of the earth if they'd taken you.

Yes, this is what my life has come to now.

A lesson learned

Excuse me, whilst I slink back onto my blog that I have ignored recently.  Sorry about that!


The other day I received a "kick in the bum" email from a buyer.     

He was the buyer of this game, that I had sold for my sister.  It sold for $21.99

His email stated that I could not wrap a vintage game in some bubble-wrap and expect it to arrived undamaged, that my packaging had been inadequate to protect the game, and I should have put more thought into it.   He said he was more forgiving than other buyers that would have left me an instant negative.   He ended the email with the words "from one ebay seller to another."

My stomach became an acid bath, and I deleted the email with a petulant finger.   How dare he tell me what to do!!!    I would ignore his words, and he could take his email and shove it.

An hour passed, and I began to think about the email.  Of course he was right.  As I packaged the game, I remembered thinking that I should add some cardboard to the outside, as the lid was especially damaged.  The game box was not heavy cardboard at all, but at 40 years old had softened.  

But I didn't add that extra cardboard.   Do you know why ....  because it would ruin the look of the parcel.  I wanted the game to arrive neatly covered in bubble-wrap with my sticker on the top.   Cardboard would have ruined the look.

Shame on me.

I had gotten caught in the trap of worrying about looks, and following the same process for each game instead of treating each game differently depending on its condition.

I replied to the buyer's message, humbly telling him that he was right in his criticism, and apologised.  I thanked him for giving me the "kick in the pants" that I needed.

A couple of days later he left positive feedback of "thanks".  I checked my DSRs and noticed that he'd dinged me for "item as described".   I took that one on the chin as being deserved.  I was thankful for not getting negative feedback.

So after 10 years on eBay, I had become stuck in a rut with the wrapping of my items.  Process as follows : - wrap with bubble-wrap or brown paper - stick label on - pretty parcel ready to go. 

This was a great lesson to learn, to really think about the item I'm packing for postage, and treat each item individually, instead of just another parcel on a processing line.

Even though my bum hurt after a good kicking, I was proud that I had seen the error of my ways, instead of acting like a kicked puppy.   Who knows, I might even become a grown-up soon.

...  Off to sit on my icepack now.    ;-)

Resistance is futile !!!!

I've not blogged in a while.

Just haven't had anything to say, really.

Life is just, blah.   I'm feeling kind of flat.  Kind of like I'm stuck in a rut, and can't get out of it.   Like I'm trying to plug a leaky dam and there's more holes there than I have fingers.  Or I'm pushing a boulder uphill on my own.  

And sometimes, just sometimes, it would be nice to have somebody else there to share things with, and stop my life from flat-lining all the time.

The only thrill in my life is when I get served by the cute man at the post office, and he says "Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

I've been mulling that question over, so I wrote a long list of things.  Might give it to him next time he asks, but I don't want him to run screaming in the direction of away.    

Gotta keep that tiny light in my life.


Anyhoo, enough moaning.  The customer who gave me a negative, and said she would remove it if I sent her a replacement card for the board game - well, she lied.

I sent the card.  Waited about 5 days, and then sent a feedback revision with polite message.  The revision expired with no response from her.

I had 2 other copies of the same game.

I sold the second one I had, and it made decent $.   So what I did was photocopy the card I sent to the Big Fat Liar ( I will glue it to some card), and I will sell my third copy of the game with a "replacement copy card", and see how it goes.

I downgraded my store to a Basic Store on the 28th of May. With this, I get 80 free listings a month.    After downgrading my store 80 free listings appeared in my account, I wasn't expecting them quite so quickly with 3 days still to go.   They ran out on the 31st May.    I assumed they were for the next month, and  used them all up.   Then on the 1st June, another 80 free listings appeared.    Double free listings.  Score!   Took those and ran with them, looking just a little bit shady.  Wasn't sure if they really belonged to me.


This month as all the crap in my store rolls off the 'one week where they offered 2000 free listings' from last month, I will gradually decrease the number of items in my store. 

Books will now get sent to Fishpond.  They have changed their selling policy, thank goodness!  It now only costs $9.95 for me to take a box of stuff to the Post Office.   Once they enter the stuff at their end, I choose the price it will sell for.   Hurrah!   Most of my books will end up there from now on.

I'm concentrating more on videos and board games now.  

I've nothing really exciting in sales.  The Queen's Birthday long weekend got me a few sales, which was a welcome change.

Here are some of the vaguely interesting things I have sold recently:

I'm selling this for a friend, we go halves on final price.
This was my first auction in ages.

I bought this book over a year ago for 50 cents.  I can't believe it took this long to sell.  So glad to see it go!

This game only took a month to sell.  My sister picked it up for me for $2. 

I found this pile of westerns in my cupboard, and decided to get rid of them.  I had been debating selling them as they were a little tatty/repaired/stained.    They only took a week to sell.  They are like gold here in Australia.

I'm excited, that I have one parcel to post tomorrow.   Eeep!  Off to the Post Office I go.   :-)

So slow .....

Argghhh!  My sales have been so slow.  I am planning on downgrading to a basic store next month.     I will save $30 a month.  There is only 80 free listings with the Basic Store, but given most of my stuff is media at 5 cents a pop, that's not so bad.

I have 900 listings in my store, and I am sick of listing the same things over and over again.   It's very disheartening and in the end quite pricey.   So the last couple of weeks, as things ended that I didn't want to relist - they stayed in my Unsold folder.  I was planning on getting rid of a lot of the books - box them up, and send them off to Fishpond (Amazon wannabee),  group them and list them as bulk-listings - or send them off to the op shop.

I was starting on this process, , and my store was down to just over 600 items, when I got an email from eBay saying that I was being offered 5,000 free listings, with a week to list them (ending 28th May).    Have they tapped my computer?  Did they know what I was going to do?  I am gob-smacked.    (I love that word!!!)     So what the heck could I do?   I re-listed all my crap again.   It's now floating around in the ether, with all the other crap that people have put up with their 5,000 free listings.  What the heck,  I figure with free listings it doesn't hurt.  I'll just have to put off my book culling for another month.    However, I will still be down-grading to a Basic Store.

The last 3 days, I have only had one pissy little sale - sales are now down to a third of what they were.   Ebay is such a downer.    I am seriously considering selling only videos & board games.  My books don't seem to get many hits at all.    After a month, a lot of them have less than 5 views.

I am also seriously considering an Etsy store.   I have created one, but it's not open yet, and there's nothing in it.   Given most of my eBay stock is books, games and videos, not much of this is suitable for Etsy.  But I have been collecting some things, and I think I will concentrate on paper ephemera.   I have stacks of old sewing patterns, and some old knitting booklets so I should put them up.

Along with the colossal down-fall in sales, I had a couple of "item not as described" emails.      I hate the whack in the guts feeling when I get one of those.    

The first was a couple of weeks ago.   For this lovely sale.  This had sold 3 weeks before I got the email.  I had been very happy with what I got for it.

She sent an email saying that a card was missing from the game, when it had been advertised as complete.   I checked my feedback, and she had already left me a big fat negative.     

Now I know that I counted those cards carefully - but that's not to say that each card was correct.    She didn't want to return the game, so just left the negative.    I gave myself a couple of hours to calm down.   

I had been so excited by this sale, and lo and behold I had found two more copies of the same game.   Wahooo!    Excitement deflated - I offered her a replacement card from one of the other games I found - and waited.  After about 4 days she sent an email saying - she would take the replacement card and change the feedback.    I sent the card, and waited 4 days - then sent off a request to change the feedback.   It's been about 5 days, and I haven't heard anything.   I can only sit and wait.


Then a couple of days ago, I got an 'item not as described' about this sale.

He said the parcel was filled with an oily substance, and some of the video cases were cracked.   I was gutted because being a Trekkie myself, I hated that these had been ruined.   The buyer stated that he would leave positive feedback, because it had all been carefully wrapped, but just wanted an explanation on how it could have happened.

I had no explanation other than an Australia Post employee with a dirty van, had piled parcels on top of mine.   I sent an apologetic email, bit the bullet and refunded his money (less the postage cost).

He replied a minute later, insisting that I didn't have to refund the money.   He knew it wasn't my fault.  
He told me send another invoice, and he would pay me again.

What?????  

We were at stalemate -  he wanted to pay me, I felt that he shouldn't have to.  I countered with going halves - at $10, and sent him my email address for Paypal.

He sent me a payment 5 minutes later  - for $15, and sent me an email saying how it was great to see there were still nice people in the world.

I'm not ashamed to admit I cried like a baby.

I love my sci fi nerds.     :-)

Shaking all over

Yesterday I went to the dentist. 

It was just for a check-up and clean.  I was quite pleased with myself because I was not too worried.   I felt virtuous since I had got my electronic tooth-brush for Christmas and hoped to use it to fend off the need for false teeth.

I have always had a morbid fear of getting falsies.  I had always believed that false teeth were thrust onto us, when we were in our mid-forties, that suddenly our teeth fell out at that age.  That was the age that my parents got theirs.  Even as a child I remember my parents clacking their falsies around in their mouths.  I shuddered when I came upon the teeth nestling in their own private little bath, sitting on the bathroom bench.  Grinning up at me like some dental nightmare.

I had visions of shooting my teeth across the room when I sneezed, sucking on my gums as I anticipated a lovely glass of wine, or just plain losing them and painfully finding them later when I sat down on the couch.

When I was a teenager we had a 100 year old lady stay with us for a few months.  I remember once she was sitting there clacking her falsies and contemplating a nice cuppa.
"Can you hold these for me," she said to my mum.

Mum held out her hand, expecting the handkerchief in her hand, and was rewarded with a handful of drool-covered grin.

Needless to say, the only reason I keep attending the dentist is to prevent this for as long as possible

My dentist is an angel and treats me like the on-the-edge, nervous looney that I am - I call him Super Dentist.  The latest thing when I visit is for me to be sent to a different room to visit the 'dental hygienist' for the clean, when he used to perform this as well as the checkup.  It costs more $,  but I don't complain, as nobody else would take on a nut job like me.

The dental hygienist was a polite young lady, I could tell straight away that she was nervous.    I lay down on the chair and began my nervous, uncontrollable quaking.   She started the cleaning and for a moment I wondered if there was an earthquake.  Then I realised that she was shaking too.  I mean really shaking - we were at the same vibration level.  

I began to panic.  My shaking increased three-fold.   The dental chair turned into a vibrating massage chair.  The dental implements on the little table attached began to dance a not-so-merry jig.

I remembered that I still hadn't made my will.   I pictured large slashes in my gums, and inside my mouth.

After a few minutes, she stopped and left the room.  My dentist appeared in the doorway and I heard her murmur that she wasn't ready yet.

Then he took over, and I could have jumped out of the chair and squeezed his delicious self.    At the end he declared himself pleased with me, and said that I would get a lolly, and also a stamp on my hand.

As for the dental hygienist, I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for her.  I saw in her a fellow awkwardist and shy person.  I know what it's like to be placed in a situation that puts you somewhere new and confronting - that suddenly tests your carefully set limited boundaries.   My automatic response is just like hers.  The vibration lets us know we are still alive, it is built within us and we have no control over how our body reacts. 

In telling this story, I do not intend to demean or make fun of her in any way.  Cudos to her, I say.  She should be so proud.   She tried, and she accepted that she wasn't ready yet.     I was chuffed to meet a fellow awkwardist, and also in the way Super Dentist smoothed the way for her.   I got a warm fuzzy feeling.  It was almost a Hallmark/Dental moment.

I had obviously had the honour of being her first ever real client.  I made sure to thank her profusely when I left.

I shook my way out to the car and drove home.  With me inside it, my car was doing the Harlem Shuffle down the highway - it was probably an awesome sight to behold to the other drivers on the road.

Halfway through my drive home,  I realised that I never got my lolly or the stamp on my hand for being a "good girl".  

Shafted!!!!     :-(

Hello, Possum !

Dear Possum(s)

I am very pleased that you found the tiny broken part in my roof tile, and decided to move in.   I know it's a lovely dark open space up there and you must have been chuffed to find your new roomy rent-free apartment.

I never knew that possums could River-dance - I certainly never expected you to be doing it from 2 to 5 am every morning in my bedroom ceiling wearing hob-nailed boots.   

I'm sorry for not being an appreciative audience to your performances.   I'm sure the other families you roomed with enjoyed them a hell of a lot more than I do.   Perhaps they also supplied you with the steroids that made you twice as big as you should be.

Also, thanks for jumping on the eaves with your fat steroid-taking possum bums, and causing it to fall down.   That's really nice that you've created a nice platform there, so that anything can now walk into my roof with ease and comfort.  

 You've turned my roof into a fricking Noah's Ark.   I can only imagine what will be able to move into my roof now.   I know it won't be something magical like unicorns.

It's windy today, and I'm sure the roof space is getting a lovely airing from the huge bloody two-metre hole that is now open to the elements.  I can only picture you filling this space with possum pooh, piss & other nasty things.

I'm just waiting to hear back from my insurance company to send someone out and fix the mess you've made.    Then I also get to pay hundreds of dollars to a special "possum man" to come and possum-proof my roof, and catch you in order take you away and set you free again in my area !!!  How nice for you!    

May I suggest Unit 12 as a nice abode.  There is a lovely bogan family there that will appreciate your nightly river-dancing far more than I.    They will appreciate *you* in more ways that I.